I don’t think that I am alone when I say that I struggle to gain consistency. I’ll pick up a new habit for a bit, and then fall into old ways. I can exercise for months and then suddenly become a lump. I can follow schedules for years, but then a single vacation will throw me off.
I am of two minds about schedules. On the one hand I know that I need routine, and I even get a little cranky when my routine is disturbed. Mondays and Fridays are particularly difficult for me, because they signal a change in schedule. I have just gotten used to sleeping whenever when I have to get up (relatively) early again. Or by Friday, I have kept the week’s schedule but the promise of “staying up late” is just as exciting as it was when I was a kid.
The cure for this, surely, is to give over to the chaos or use this wisdom to inform my decisions. But surely variety is the spice of life, right?
It takes a lot of work to be in a successful marriage. You should respect boundaries and sacrifice for one another. One of the most difficult parts of my marriage is knowing when a joke is over. Sure, it’s fun for me to distract and play, but knowing when to stop, when not to poke at my partner’s frustrations, that’s tough.
It’s knowing when the joke is over for them. Giving up the gag because the other person is no longer into it. Because making myself laugh while he cries isn’t funny. Laughter is for sharing, not just for me alone.
It occurred to me, in the middle of one of my more high-anxiety moments this week, that the days are going to keep coming. The future is always right there, waiting to be had. While this can seem a bright and beautiful thing for some, to me it can be terrifying. How will I deal with all of those pressures? How will I handle everything that everyone expects of me? How can I be better? Read more ›