I remember when you were born.

I was so excited.

I hadn’t been around babies before.

You were so little, a teacup baby.

We were really tight, the two of us.

Now you’re an adult.

You’ve turned into a gigantic douche.

I know it’s because your hormones are raging,

You’re frightened and frustrated and excited and bored,

All at the same time.

But, you’re driving me crazy.

Sometimes you are really nice,

and sometimes you say the most asshole things.

I just have to wait this out,

and hope it isn’t permanent.

Right now you make me want to puke,

Just from being around the roller coaster of emotions you project.

I just got off that thing.

Stay the hell away from me,

Until you’re 25,

And…don’t forget,

I love you, and I totally understand.

But still…..

STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.